Friday, October 7, 2016

Hurricane Matthew, getting moved, and other musings

Let me tell you about how Hurricane Matthew has ruined my weekend...

Most of you have been watching the news and it looks a little something like this:

And I'm not saying that this weather event has not or will not cause damage, but I chose Central Florida as my destination for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that it is far enough inland to avoid much of what the coastal cities will experience from these storms.

So instead of this:

Lakeland is looking more like this:

And the local news reports only minimal power outages (only one house was without power in Lakeland) and no damage for the entirety of Polk County.

That said, I was all set to get on my airplane today, but that was all thwarted when I received notice yesterday that my flight to Orlando had been cancelled. You see, because Orlando is coastal, the Airport is closed as a precaution, as are all the theme parks (it's kind of a big deal when Disney World locks the gate). All flights in and out of Orlando are expected to resume tomorrow.



BUT

Being that my flight was cancelled, I had to reschedule the whole trip. So instead of SIT>SEA>MCO in 15 hours, now my flight plan is SIT>SEA>PHX>MCO in 23 hours. I'm now scheduled to leave Sitka on Sunday 10/9 at 11:40am AKT and land in Orlando on Monday 10/10 at 2:47pm ET, with two 5-hour layovers in between. I am not happy about this, primarily because this is not friendly for my cat, who will be travelling in the cargo hold, but also because I was really ready to leave and I have a mountain of work to overcome once we arrive.

Changing the flight itinerary around didn't cost me anything except time, but I had also reserved a rental car from the airport and prepaid insurance on it, so moving that around cost me $30. On top of that, I had an appointment already set up with the cable company for Saturday and the apartment complex was expecting me to me in immediately, but I can't even get a hold of those businesses to let them know my travel plans have changed until Monday, at which point I will already be there.

On a more positive note, this does mean I get to spend some bonus time with the kids.

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On Wednesday, we dropped off 10 boxes of all of our belongings to the post office for delivery to our new home. It cost over $600 to ship everything, but I'm not complaining. It cost Stephen & me $9000 to move to Alaska 6 years ago; this is a pittance in comparison. Aside from that, we each have two suitcases and one carry-on to bring onto the plane, but the luggage is mostly clothes and necessary incidentals.

It's liberating to own so little again. There used to be a time when I could fit everything I owned into the trunk of my Pontiac Sunfire. Of course I will spend the first couple of weeks in Florida furnishing our townhouse and stocking our kitchen, but it's nice to know I still have the ability to strip my life down to the essentials. A friend once told me that I have "gypsy feet." If this is true - and I have no reason to doubt it is - this will be a useful skill.

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Our dear friend Emma has been putting up with us for a week now. We've been living in her guest room and trying to be as clean and out-of-the-way as possible, but somehow, even though we've been eating her food, using her electricity, borrowing her car, and accidentally letting her dog slip out of the house all week, she has not set our luggage on fire and kicked us out. In fact, she is even allowing us to occupy her guest room for 2 additional days. She's a saint and we love her.

"Guests, like fish, begin to smell after 3 days."
-Benjamin Franklin

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Tonight we are having a second going away party, because my friends are insane and I'm pretty sure they still think they need an excuse to throw a party. It should be fun, but you wouldn't believe how exhausting this week has been. I just want Sunday to get here, so I can get on that plane and be that much closer to sleeping in a bed of my own.

Monday, October 3, 2016

Personal Struggle

As we near our departure date and finish tying up the last of the loose ends, I find myself with more time to think about what I'm leaving behind. It was easy to distract myself from all of this when there were so many details left to nail down, but I'm pretty much coasting now, just waiting for Friday to come and my plane to take off.

It has been a thing in the back of my mind for months. I tried to spin it positively, justify the means by focusing on the end, anything to keep from breaking down. And then it happened. Saturday night it hit me like a cartoon piano from a high window...

I only have a few precious moments left with my kids before I leave.

Sure, I'll see them in December. And yes, I get them for the whole summer. But I just haven't figured out how to make peace with the fact that they'll be so far away, that I won't see them after school or kiss them goodnight. I'm missing out on months of snuggles and hugs and that soft "this is my baby" smell that every mother knows.

What if they get hurt? Or sad? What accomplishments will I miss out on? What adventures? I can't even bring myself to think about the missed birthdays...

They have been the center of my world for the last 10 years and it feels wrong to be leaving them, even though I know with every fiber of my being that this is what needs to happen. And with each moment that brings me nearer to my departure, I struggle harder than I ever considered possible.

Please don't let them feel abandoned by me. Please don't let them resent me. Please let them know that I would do anything for them and that I'm focusing on keeping myself healthy so that I can continue being the mom they need me to be. Please let them understand. Please...

I've been beaten, raped, homeless, hungry, suicidal, and completely lost in life, but I've never experienced the anguish I feel right now. I've never even considered this day would come, when I'd have to say goodbye to the two most precious people I'll ever know. And even though it's temporary, it doesn't feel any better. My heart hurts and I feel like I'm always on the verge of tears. Even writing this is making me bawl my eyes out uncontrollably.

If you read this, if you see me or if you have a second, please just give me a hug or shoot me a message. Please tell me it's going to be ok and that I'm making the best decisions I can. I need your strength. I don't think I have much of my own left.

These Girls

This is a special post to recognize these beautiful and amazing ladies, who have supported me, loved me, put up with me, worked for and with me, listened to me, told me to shut up, carried my drunk ass home, joined in my shenanigans, shared their homes and lives with me, inspired me, and generally made life on The Rock worth living. These are my sisters and they are some of the most special people I will ever know.

Thank you, Emma, Chandra, Belle, & Jolene. Your friendship means the world to me. I'm not going to lie, I'm a terrible friend and bad at keeping in touch, but please know that no matter how much time passes or how many miles between us, you will always be with me. I love you guys. My Sundays will never be the same without you.

Saying Goodbye

Aaron and I have spent the last few weeks saying goodbye to all our wonderful friends, while meticulously finishing all the details related to our move. We had an entire house to empty and clean before October 1st, vet appointments for travel, change of address, moving into a temporary living arrangement until our plane leaves, packing, sorting, shipping, on and on and on...

We did what we could to meet up for coffee or a drink at a bar. We've done our best to make ourselves available to the people who have made our lives so rich out here. We know that we will never see some of them again, but our lives are better for knowing them right now and we are grateful for every friendship we have made.


Some of our friends threw us a going away party. After everything was emptied out of our Sitka house, folding tables, food, and beer were brought in. We laughed and hugged and played beer pong. There was cake and shenanigans.
...but there were NO PANTS.
(At least, that was the goal...)